I realized something very recently about myself. I realized that I am still holding on to old grudges. Things that I thought that I’d let go of, I was still holding onto. I had an argument with someone and everything that I thought that I’d let go of came up and seemed to be stronger than ever.
Unforgiveness is ugly; what’s more, it’s sneaky. It masquerades itself as wisdom telling us that we need to hold onto a little bit of it so that we can protect ourselves from letting it happen again. The problem is that when we believe that as truth, we pull God off the throne and put ourselves on. God says that vengeance belongs to Him but we really don’t believe that or else unforgiveness wouldn’t plague us like it does. We think to ourselves that we have to protect ourselves because God won’t really do it.
So what in the world do bedbugs have to do with unforgiveness? I’m so glad you asked! My house was recently infested with bedbugs. Don’t be looking at me like I got that nasty woman’s disease! Bedbugs are not limited to the homes of nasty or dirty people. They are not after your food or dirt. They want one thing; human blood!
Upon realizing that I had the bedbugs, I did a little bit of research on them and I’ve got to say that bedbugs have got to be the sneakiest creatures on this planet!
These creatures are nocturnal so they only come out at night; just before dawn to be exact. They are great hiders so it could be months before you even realize that you might have a problem. The only evidence that they leave are spots of blood on your bedding. (for months I thought that the bumps on the back of my husband’s head were bursting at night) they’re very hard to kill because they’re very hard to find. You have to get an exterminator but the poison doesn’t kill the eggs. People have had to get rid of all of the furniture in their homes in an attempt to get rid of them. And the scary part is, sometimes, that still doesn’t get rid of them.
These things made my life miserable for months. My daughter and I were the only ones to show evidence on our bodies of the little blood sucking creatures but my daughter definitely suffered the most. My daughter had so many bite marks on her body that it still scares me to think of how many bugs must’ve been in her bed on any given night eating her alive. She had marks even on her face!
As I write this article, I scratch. Not because I have any more evidence of the bugs but just the thought of them crawling still gives me the skeeves!
One day as I thought about this plague on my family, I remembered in the bible when God was letting Noah know all of the creatures that he was to bring on the ark. To my dismay, I remembered that God told Noah to get even the creepy crawly things. Did I read something wrong? Did He really tell Noah to make sure that he brings the bed bugs so that they’ll be preserved from the flood? Are you kidding me with this? It makes me wonder what that trip must’ve been like for Noah and his family.
But there’s one thing that I know about God and that is, He ALWAYS has purpose in mind with each and everything that He does. Therefore, I would not be shocked to find out that the purpose for Him telling Noah to preserve the bed bug population was so that He could teach Becky a lesson in 2010 A.D.!
I had a restless sleep tonight. I finally woke up at 3 o clock in the morning frustrated and aggravated because worrying about these bedbugs would not allow me to find rest. I finally got up and I did the only thing that I knew to do and that was to pray. I began to ask God for wisdom in this situation. I wanted these things out of my house and I was desperate to know exactly what I needed to do.
God said one thing to me. He said, “You need to forgive.”
But no sooner than He dropped it in my heart, it became clear to me. Unforgiveness sucks the life right out of you. (Did you know that there is life in your blood?) Unforgiveness is sneaky and hard to detect many times. And even when you think you’ve gotten totally rid of them, there are still remnants left hiding where you can’t see them waiting to start another generation. The heart is deceitful and above all things desperately wicked! Who can know it? (Jer. 17:9)
Ever wonder why God says, “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath”? It’s because unforgiveness sets in while you’re asleep. The devil is a creature of the night. He does his best work in darkness. That anger will set like cement while you’re sleeping and then you will have rooted unforgiveness. He sucks the life right out of you while you’re sleeping!
The unforgiveness that exposed itself in me a week ago came up just before my dawn. That argument was the refiner’s fire that my soul needed to bring up the toxins that were still sitting and festering in me. I should have opened my eyes and come up out of my bed so that the unforgiveness could be exterminated once and for all. But instead, I chose to close my eyes and sleep and allow that unforgiveness to continue to suck the life right out of me.
I want to tell you today that if you are still holding on to unforgiveness today, let it go! It’s not worth it. It will eventually rob you of everything that you own.
And did I forget to tell you; it doesn’t just affect you. It will even suck the life out of your children as well. That evil one is no gentleman.
Let go of the unforgiveness and live. Be free!